Time of worship
Every Sunday, at 4:00, Thormons will drop whatever they are doing and situate themselves on the couch.
1. Make sure the lighting is to your lounging needs, Dim is preferred but ultimately dictated by the Thormons preference.
2. Line up your favorite sporting event, television program, or movie. The stream of entertainment should continue until you decide to retire so a variety of programming is recommended.
3. Put on your most comfortable pair of sweatpants. Slippers and sweatshirt also recommended.
4. Make sure that you have a full beverage(s) in front of you. More than one is certainly a good idea.
5. Cook or order a delicious food item.
6. Get your Thormon on, this is what being a Thormon is all about!
Showing off at the bar
Double fisting is always a good idea at the bar if you want to get drunk and show people that you mean business. Here is a little technique you can deploy the next time you are at your favorite watering hole.
1. Acquire 2 beers
2. Step forward in lunge position while tipping one of your brews.
3. Step forward in lunge position with the other leg while tipping your other brew. (for maximum effect, do these combinations as quickly as possible)
4. Repeat
5. Revel in the admiration, intoxication, and burning in your legs.
Hands Free Drinking
Do you want to win friends and admirers? Do you want to get loaded? This technique is sure to accomplish both of these feats.
1. You will need a shirt with a pocket(s) around your tit area.
2. Acquire a bottled beer(s)
3. Put the beer(s) in your pocket(s)
4. Position the neck of the bottle at your lips (while the beer remains in your pocket)
5. Lean back until you are drinking your beer(s) hands free.
Morning Routine: “The Terminator”
Do you remember in Terminator 2 when Arnold and the bad guy time travel to the present day and they arrive in some sort of round capsule? They are curled up in a crouched fetal position. If you ever have a big day ahead of you and you want to prepare yourself to "crush a little thing called life" I have this recommendation. While you are in the shower, pull a terminator. Crouch down in the position and slowly rise while humming the music that is played in the movie.
"De duh... de de de, De duh... de de de
Rise, Look into the mirror like you are a "cybernetic organism"
Proceed to crush your day.
