Fantasy Sports
Cheering for an athlete because you "have him in fantasy" is the lowest form of human life and takes away from the "purity of observing and/or cheering" of said sport.
Beverages
Thormons pledge to always use an ice and water mix in all coolers when keeping beer, soda, water, or sports drinks cold.
Mayonnaise
Thormons pledge to never eat mayonaisse and to openly speak out about it's disgusting nature.
TV
Thormons must own a TV and whenever possible have move than 100 channels, including premium channels and sports packages. NOT owning a TV and using this fact as a reason for "superiority" to TV owners/watchers, is cause for dishonorable dismissal from Thormonism.
Grunting at the gym
Thormons pledge to never grunt, ever. In fact, Thormons pledge to make no noise while at the gym. Unless they are asking a female if they know where the weight room is, oh we're at it, thanks.
Minivans
Thormons pledge to never own or drive a minivan. Getting a ride from another minivan owner is only acceptable under the most dire situations. A Thormon seen driving a minivan with a "This car climbed Mt. Washington" is grounds for immediate excommunication.
Sweatpants
Thormons pledge to wear sweatpants in public at least once a month. A Thormon may be considered devout if said sweatpants are also dirty because they are used as a napkin.
Complaining
Thormons must make a concerted effort to minimize the amount of complaining that they do.
