5/12/2009
Boxing sucks
Alright, I think we all know that boxing fucking sucks. Like, there's a sport where two dudes are basically trying to kill each other. If we're going to make a sport that barbaric then give me the dudes in the octagon, boxing is so bleeping boring. No Dana White MMA will not be the most popular sport in 10 years, I kind of think it is peaking right now.
What's my point? I was just down in the gym at my office. They have this punching bag in there. Why the fuck do they have a punching bag in a corporate office gym? Anyway this fucking douchebag rolls in like it's fight night in Poughkeepsie with his fucking headphones on and he's like rapping and head bobbing. What the fuck is that shit! I'm on the treadmill watching Jerry Orbach be sarcastic in his pursuance of a perp in Law and Order and this dude comes in rapping. Then he gets on the eliptical. Then he starts hitting the punching bag. Then he starts rapping. Then he starts doing pushups. Then head bob, punching bag, with that weird breathing thing boxers do when they punch. Then he's kicking the bag. This dude like wants to assault somoeone. His mother never loved him growing up and he is angry. He starts going ballistic on this punching bag and pushing it all over the room. So fucking awkward.
What is wrong with these people. I hereby denounce all boxers. They are poor, angry douchebags. They are looking for a fight, of course all of them look like neglected crack babies and that's why they're angry. Fuck boxers, they can all go fuck themselves. Creep out people in the barrio and stay out of the corporate office gyms.
Manny Ramirez
Getting accepted to college
Getting my first job out of college
Winning the 2001 Super Bowl
Winning the 2004 World Series
There are certain events in a persons life that bring unmeasurable joy and untold riches to ones psyche. The Manny Ramirez suspension is one of those events. That fucking scumbag is so screwed. I have actually been hoping this would happen, I was hoping somehow it would come out he was on that list of 103 names. Do I care if he did it in a Red Sox uniform? FUCK NO. I just want his career ruined, I want his kid to be made fun of at school. I only pray that he will someday enter the batters box at Fenway park and get what is really coming to him. And I will be there. I used to think I wanted boos, I would now prefer orchestrated laughing. 35,000 people pointing and laughing. Then the next at bat we boo him. Then the next one we urinate on him. Then we shake a baby rattle at him and steal his gerber. Then we drop a mickie in his drink and shave his head. Then Papelbon farts on him. WHAT ISN'T THAT WHAT EVERYONE WAS THINKING!
