The airport incident
A couple years ago I had several sales calls collide within a short period of time. I had a face to face somewhere in Massachusetts and due to the timing would need to take my car directly to the airport. I was going to either upstate NY or Manhattan, I can't remember. The day after that, I would have amorning appointment in Connecticut. So I do my sales call in Mass, park at the airport and head to New York. All goes well and I make it back from NY in the evening. I grab a cab home and watch a little TV and go to bed. I wake up the next morning and get ready for my sales call in Connecticut. I'm all ready, I have my laptop, the directions, my projoector, and of course my dashing good looks. Alrighty, out to the car, hmmmm where the hell is the car? OH SNAP, it's still at the airport of course. Well then why did I take a cab home last night? This must be somebody elses fault. OK, call a cab.....TO TAKE ME TO THE AIRPORT. Get my car, now i'm late, looks like we'll be driving like a maniac to Connecticut now, made it without being late.
The gas station incident
A couple years ago I was driving to Stowe, VT for a little ski weekend. I was running out of gas so I pulled of at an exit in New Hampshire. Contrary to the state motto, I was not willing to die for my freedom. I started gassing up and went inside to get a coffee and cruller. So I came back out to the car and pulled away. ON SNAP, I forgot to hang up the gas nozzle. I ripped the whole line off of it's apparatus. I believe it was equipped with a breakaway feature or as I like to call it "bimbo proof". I got out of the car and wanted to run, instead I queried the gentleman behind the register.
"Pardon me sir, I seem to have forgotten to remove your gasoline nozzle from my motorcoach."
The dude must have really felt bad for me. He looked at me like an FBI handler probably looks at his asset when he realizes they have been compromises. For a second, I though HE might tell me to run. He practically did, he said in a hurried tone. "just go man, just go." He was not angry but no doubt looking to spare me from the stares. ridicule, and embarrassment of the packed gasoline plaza. I went back to the car being careful not to make eye contact with anyone and peeled out.
Oh and just an FYI, the same thing happened a couple months later, WHAT WHAT, it's common....
Running out of gas
I was very low on gas. I was at my office and had forgotten my wallet. I had no way of getting gas, somehow bartering computer skills for gas did not seem realistic. I decided to run the gauntlet. I would take the Jeep from Wakefield to Boston and I would do so with the needle past empty. I drove 55 miles an hour all the way to Boston on the edge of my seat. A breakdown on I-93 would not be pleasant. I made it to fucking Boston! OK, first gas station I see, what the fuck is this guy doing? You asshole i'm gonna pass you, you're stupid, oh shit I just passed the gas station. I pulled up Commonwealth avenue in Allston. OH SNAP, I ran out of gas....ON COMMONWEALTH AVENUE. I put my flashers on and ran up the street. I found a gas station. I breathlessly demanded a plastic gas container. The dude looked at me like I was crazy and helped the customer in front of me. Finally I got my hands on a container, I filled it, and I ran back down Commonwealth avenue. At this point a major traffic jam has ensued. Who the fuck would leave their car parked on Commonwealth avenue? This bimbo, that's who. I start pouring the gas into the car. It's not working, why is it not working? The air intake is capped, fuck. I uncap it and spill gasoline all over my hands and pants. I tip my cap to the angry motorists and drive away reeking of GAS...O....LEEN. WHAT WHAT IT'S COMMON!
