As a footnote, i'm sure you're all aware that Peyton Manning is the lovechild of

Tweety Bird

and The Toxic Avenger.

Why do people pronounce Colorado like Colla-RAD-O?  I have heard that people from Colorado insist this is the pronunciation.  Well i'll be damned if i'm going to take pronunciation tips from a non-scholar, non-new englander!  This is the Hub of the universe and we will make all decisions on matters of pronunciation (and don't get cute referencing the mass accent, that is a hideous beast to be addressed in a seperate post) and distribute the rules to the rest of you idiots living on the fringes of god's country.  Thormons will pronounce Colorado like Colla-ROD-O.

The Minnesota Vikings radio broadcast has been making the rounds on sports talk radio, for those that have not heard it, it's good.

 http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/images/01/25/FavreINT.mp3

The thing about that game, is that Favre actually played pretty well up until his fateful and very predictable interception.  He was getting smoked by Saints defense, his running backs were fumbling the ball, and he was pretty much taking them down the field.  Here's the problem.  They go about sixty yards in 30 seconds and brad childress gets all fucking conservative.  50 yard field goal is no good!  He called two runs up the gut and got nothing.  Keep going down the field, they were having their way with the Saints and could have gotten the ball MUCH CLOSER.  Then Childress calls a timeout and sends 12 fucking guys into the hudde!  What is that shit!  Ok so Childress fucked up, Favre fucked up, they still have overtime.

The Saints win the coin toss and still need a bullshit pass interference call and dropped pass by meachum (called a catch) to win the game.  Ask yourself, how good can the Saints be?  They need all of these things to happen to win?!  Brees looked rattled, those that converse with the One True Prophet also heard his preseason prediction that Brees would shit his pants in the playoffs.  He did it on Sunday, he did it in the last NFC championship game  he was in against the Eagles, and he'll do it again in the Superbowl.

Ben Roethlisberger

How the fuck do you spell his last name?  As i've mentioned before, he looks like 20 pounds of bologna in a 10 pound bag.  He's such a douchebag, and I hate him.  In the offseason he likes to grind and cure his own sausages.  Ben Roethlisberger loves sausages.  Ben Roethlisberger and Hines Ward like to eat opposite ends of sausages like the two dogs with the spaghetti in the lady and the tramp. 

Rex Ryan

I hate this fat fuck.  Oh his players love him!  He came out with a schedule and it included the victory parade!  And the players loved it!  FUUUUUCK YOU!  Rex Ryan loves football and cheese fries cooked in Crisco.  He likes to watch film whilst eating said cheese fry.  Rex Ryan gets dieting tips from Fat Bastard in Austin Powers.  Rex Ryan once danced with Fat Bastard at a New York City club for plus size men.  Rex Ryan wore a bedazzled mumu and ordered a gravy martini.  Rex Ryan loves gravy martini's.

Brett Favre

"Ah know that ah kin still play........but i'm not sure ah want to."  Brett Favre likes to customize his wrangler overalls.  He drives trucks, throws interceptions, and sucks at football.  Brett Favre once saved a hounds leg by using his wranglers to create a tourniquet.  Brett Favre once saved the sweat from his beard and used it to cure malaria in a malnourished African child.  Brett Favre once scratched his butt which resulted in a confluence of circumstance resulting in a reduction of harmful Ultraviolet radiation (see Butterfly effect)

The butterfly effect is a metaphor that encapsulates the concept of sensitive dependence on initial conditions in chaos theory; namely that small differences in the initial condition of a dynamical system may produce large variations in the long term behavior of the system.

No, none of this actually happened, although it was reported on ESPN this morning.  ESPN considers Brett Favre stories and highlights pornogrophy since it arouses them.

When an athlete is getting old
"He's getting a little long in the tooth"

To describe your distaste for New Years Eve
1. "First Night......it's more like Last Night"

2. "New Years.....it's more like Boo Years"

When you are disrespected by someone shorter than you
"Respect your taller"

She's holding a cup of fucking Dunkin too! Does it get any better than that!