It’s more like Ray Boo-is
That fucking sucked. I hate the Ravens. I don't even know where to go with this team. To make myself feel better, i'm going to talk about football players I don't like.
Ben Roethlisberger
How the fuck do you spell his last name? As i've mentioned before, he looks like 20 pounds of bologna in a 10 pound bag. He's such a douchebag, and I hate him. In the offseason he likes to grind and cure his own sausages. Ben Roethlisberger loves sausages. Ben Roethlisberger and Hines Ward like to eat opposite ends of sausages like the two dogs with the spaghetti in the lady and the tramp.
Rex Ryan
I hate this fat fuck. Oh his players love him! He came out with a schedule and it included the victory parade! And the players loved it! FUUUUUCK YOU! Rex Ryan loves football and cheese fries cooked in Crisco. He likes to watch film whilst eating said cheese fry. Rex Ryan gets dieting tips from Fat Bastard in Austin Powers. Rex Ryan once danced with Fat Bastard at a New York City club for plus size men. Rex Ryan wore a bedazzled mumu and ordered a gravy martini. Rex Ryan loves gravy martini's.
Brett Favre
"Ah know that ah kin still play........but i'm not sure ah want to." Brett Favre likes to customize his wrangler overalls. He drives trucks, throws interceptions, and sucks at football. Brett Favre once saved a hounds leg by using his wranglers to create a tourniquet. Brett Favre once saved the sweat from his beard and used it to cure malaria in a malnourished African child. Brett Favre once scratched his butt which resulted in a confluence of circumstance resulting in a reduction of harmful Ultraviolet radiation (see Butterfly effect)
The butterfly effect is a metaphor that encapsulates the concept of sensitive dependence on initial conditions in chaos theory; namely that small differences in the initial condition of a dynamical system may produce large variations in the long term behavior of the system.
No, none of this actually happened, although it was reported on ESPN this morning. ESPN considers Brett Favre stories and highlights pornogrophy since it arouses them.
